Why do parents feel the need to be so competative about how their kid is progressing?  Okay, I admit, I brag about how advanced my little Peanut is for her age!  She’s 7 weeks old today, and since she was a week old, she’s been tracking objects and people, since she was 4 weeks old, she started developing object permanence, she jabbers constantly, she has started immitating sounds (mostly vowels) that I make, and she is immitating facial expressions.  At 7 weeks, she is sitting up on her own (for about 3 minutes at a time), and when I stand her up on my tummy, she pushes down on her legs…hence she is learning how the muscles work.

Okay…so my kid is pretty advanced, but I’m not saying anything is wrong with your kid who can’t do those things yet.  Do I wish she would sleep all the time?  YES!  Do I wish she would slow down a bit? YES!  Do I think she’s better than your kid?  NO.

So, if it’s a pissing contest you want, you’ve got one.  My kid is much more advanced than your kid, but the only thing that makes her better in my eyes is that she is MY kid!

So…try to piss a little farther away from the wrong tree you’ve been pissing up. 

My mother-in-law….if you knew me personally, that’s all I’d have to say, and you’d nod your head in agreement.

My mother-in-law, right up to Peanut’s birth, kept saying things like “this isn’t a good idea” and “you’ll regret this” and “are you sure this is what you want to do”?

Now that our daughter is here, she has decided that Peanut’s well-being is her sole responsibility, and I am a terrible mother who needs constant advice on how to care for my baby.

First, it started with Peanut’s constipation…even though we learned it was due to feeding and calorie issues from her cleft palate, my MIL decided it was because I needed to switch her formula.  When I refused, she literally went out and bought a different kind for us to use! 

Next it was Peanut’s cleft palate…what did I do to cause the issue she wondered.  Um…HELLO…Peanut is adopted…I could have eaten lead when she was in utero and it wouldn’t have affected her!

My favorite, is that by letting the photographer take a very cute, very modestly appropriate pic of Peanut naked, but bundled up so that nothing is showing, I am subjecting my child to pornography and exploitation!  Well, first off, if that was the case, the photographer, her company and their website should all be in jail for ALL the sample pics fo this pose I saw, and secondly, it’s not porn unless the genitals are showing.

My two giant, lovable labs have taken in Peanut as their own.  They are very protective of her.  To the pic attached, MIL replied that I was allowing the dog to think that Peanut was a toy because she was “on the floor.” UGH….those dogs watch her like she was their puppy.  When she fusses, they come running to get me, so I can “fix her.”

MIL is now on a rant that I am a terrible mother and that I need to listen to her or my daughter will not “turn out right.”

All this…and more…coming from the women who told us that adopting Peanut was a bad idea.  Well, thanks for the advice MIL, but as far as I am concerned, you can stick it where the sun doesn’t shine!

My little peanut has truly changed my whole world!  Between work and caring for her, I never have a moment to spare, but I am loving life more than ever! 

Before she wakes up for her next bottle, here’s a few ways life has changed.

1) Sleep, sleeping in, dozing, snoozing…yeah…that doesn’t happen anymore!

2) I’ve worn dirty pants, socks, bras at least once a week because I can’t seem to stay on top of laundry.

3) I’ve learned to enjoy lukewarm/cold meals because her feeding time and/or diaper changing time and/or needing comfort always seems to coincide with the time my food gets on my plate.

4) I am amazed at how often we discuss nipples around here, and no one giggles anymore….clean the nipples, I dropped the nipple, fuck the nipples aren’t boiling fast enough, she doesn’t like that nipple, does this nipple look discolored, just stick the nipple in her mouth to see if she likes it, why are nipples so damn expensive?

I will try to post more often, but heaven knows when I’ll get the chance!  Until then, best wishes my fellow Tumblrs…

We are currently at the Children’s Hospital.  Been here since last night.  Emmalyn doesn’t have bowel movements on her own, and they discovered she has an incomplete palate.  She’s lost 2 lbs in a week, and she was not doing so great.

Our local Emergency Room was as useless as a ripped kleenex, but thankfully the doctor on duty had the sense to call down to the Children’s Hospital and get their advice on her well-being.

Bottom line…because of her palate, she spent all her energy drinking that by the time it came to anything else, there were no calories left to spend.  So she was losing weight, quickly!

So, with the threat of a feeding tube lurking nearby, the Speech Pathologist who specializes in cleft palate and other disorders of the palate came to see her this morning and brought a new fangled bottle that will cost us about 25.00 a pop and a nipple insert that runs 5.00 plus a 7.00 nipple.  Needless to say, Emmalyn is eating like a champ, has her coloring back, and won’t need the feeding tube if she can keep this up!

We have to stay here for a few days to get her bloodwork looking better and her weight to go up.  The staff here is wonderful, and they were amazingly reassuring to us that what is wrong with her is nothing they haven’t seen, and that her issues can be easily fixed!

So, please send prayers that our good progress keeps heading in that direction!

Okay, I admit, I’m fucking exhausted! After one week home with my baby girl, I went back to work—my partial leave only frees me from being on campus a mere 11 hours a week. So, in addition to the 19 hours I am actually there, I come home with at least 3 hours of grading for each class each week. Add 15 hours to the 19, and I’m working as much as I did before the baby.

No, I didn’t go through the physical aspects of giving birth, but I was there every step of the way. Everyone (hubby, Birthgrandma and even Birthmom after the epidural kicked in) napped the night before (Friday) she was born…I was up all night because when it was my turn to sleep, she was ready to start pushing. I then stayed up nearly all day Saturday because everyone came to visit, and hubby couldn’t get off work, so I couldn’t sleep until he got there around 1:00 a.m. Sunday.

Now that she’s home, hubby is back to working two jobs, and I’m working pretty much full time. I’m up with her most of the time. I’m getting sick…my immune system is not used to lack of rest during this time when the “sickies” are going around campus spreading germs far and wide.

So please save your lectures about new parents being tired—at least you didn’t have to go back to work after just a week. I don’t care if you think I’m whining…I’m fucking tired.

P.S. I love this charming, sweet, hysterical little girl more than anything, and she’s so worth the sleep deprivation!

My toddler, I mean 1 week old infant, is a bundle of joy beyond words. But, I have to admit, all that joy comes with a newly discovered reality for me…being a Mom is funnier than I thought, and I clearly have lost the ability to do even the simplest things without injuring myself.

1) Whoever designed these new aged carseats should be kicked in the nuts once for every second I spent trying to figure out how to unlatch the damn thing from the base unit. I finally got the carseat out but only because I just unhooked the whole base unit and cut the hell out of my hand in the process. Luckily it was very cold outside, so the blood just kinda froze in place until I could get the baby in the house.

2) Binkies are the bane of my existance. Binky holders guarentee injury. Don’t ask me how, and if you do, please note my husband still has the bruise from where I kicked him for asking how, but I managed to pinch my fingertip in the clip of the binky holder. I nearly screamed it hurt so bad. I still have a purple bruise that is just a line down my fingertip.

3) Pack-n-plays are awesome…they travel well, the pack up fast, and they unfold easily…except for me. I somehow managed to pinch my palm in the most awkward of locations. I am still trying to figure this out. What’s worse is trying to deal with the bloodblister that formed while making the baby happy.

I imagine I’ll probably end up kililng myself with baby equipment, but at least it’s worth the laughs.

The flipside…my daughter is healthy, happy, smart, beautifully, funny and I am bursting with love for her!

I’ve been waiting for 10 years for this moment…

Holding MY baby for the first time…

Seriously…how can my body function so well without sleep? At least with insomnia, I wasn’t using energy.

SHE IS SOOOOOOO WORTH IT!

I am so in love with my baby girl! She has me wrapped around her little finger forever!

Emmalyn Ann

7:34 a.m. February 4, 2012

9 lbs 12 oz

21 1/2 inches

Birthmom was wonderful! 

Baby is perfect.

The most amazing day of my life!